The Career Encouragement Blog

How to Find out if You are Committing "Own Goals"

Last week I wrote about "own goals"and the importance of not committing them in your career.  A reader asked a good question:

"What if I am busy scoring against myself and I don't even know it?  How can I find out?"

In the original posting I talked about a few basics such as arriving late/leaving early, and dressing inappropriately.  But some "own goals" are more subtle and therefore harder to catch without a good boos or mentor coaching you along.  These would include mistakes such as leaving key stakeholders off the distribution list on important e-mails and/or coming to meetings unprepared or over-prepared with the wrong focus and falling down in front of a cross-functional team.   

How can you learn about the subtle behaviors that may be taking you down without your even knowing about it?

First,determine that you will be open to feedback.  Really open to feedback.  Not just willing to hear it, but willing to write it down and ask clarifying questions to make sure you really get it.  Willing to go home and review the feedback and reflect deeply on how others are perceiving you.  Willing to go to the library or surf Amazon and find books on the topics that were themes in the feedback you heard.  Willing to write a thank you note to the person who gave you feedback and tell them how you are putting their feedback to work, and requesting their permission to come talk to you again in the future so you can keep learning.  I'm suggesting you determine that you will be THAT open to feedback.

Then,think back over the feedback you have received throughout your career (including things you heard/learned about yourself in college and things your parents told you) and figure out what the themes are. If we are honest, there are always core themes to the feedback we have received, and the best way to grow and develop is to attack our issues at the core.  I talk too much.  It's a fact.  I am not proud of it, but if I cannot admit it, I cannot address it.  The times in my life when I have received feedback from mentors that I was not strategic enough, I can trace directly back to speaking out before listening thoroughly.  In the times when I have struggled to develop a professional relationship with an annoying peer, if I am honest with myself, I know that if I talked less I could get to a solution faster.  What is your "Achilles heel" that is the thread through all of the feedback you have received?  Do you talk too much/too little?  Plunge in without a plan or hold back and never take initiative? etc.  Only you know what your particular issue is, but the sooner you admit it, the sooner you can use it to make sense of the other feedback you receive.

Third, go to your boss, or boss' boss and ask if s/he will answer three questions for you: What am I doing that you would like me to continue the same?  What am I doing that you would like me to do MORE of or be BETTER at?  "What am I doing that you would like me to STOP doing?  THANK them for their feedback. Do not argue or explain - simply thank them.  If you need to ask a clarifying question, ask for permission to do so, and then be succinct and crisp about it.  Then put the feedback to work. 

Next, make it a point to talk to leaders in your company, industry, or local business community whenever you can.  Have a few planned questions that you can use to glean as much knowledge as possible from anyone who has been successful.  One of my favorites is, "What's the most basic career lesson you wish every single one of your employees knew?"  Other great questions include, "If you could do the first year (or 5 years) of your career over again, what would you do differently?" "If  you were new to the career world and starting out today, how would you approach it?"  "What's your best advice for getting along with the people you work with?"  Put this advice in to practice - use it and make it work for you! In this way, you become a student of successful people and you will learn a lot of things that business school doesn't teach you.  You will probably also make a lot of friends because all decent people love to talk about things they have learned and help others grow.

Finally, commit to getting up each time you fall down. You will make mistakes. Jump back up, and have another go at it.  If you are faithfully employing the first three points mentioned above, you are probably not going to make any single devastating mistake that will destroy your career. But you will occasionally blunder - apologize, figure out what you learned, maybe even keep a journal and write them down (a blog is actually good for that!) and move on. 

Here's to a great rest of the week, and a great career!

Career Lessons from Soccer

As much as we talk about collaboration in the workplace, the fact is that whether we like it or not, the workplace is an intensely competitive place.  Think not?  Sit in on a management team discussion while they discuss who to lay off as part of cost cutting measures. I've sat in on plenty of those discussions, and the employees who are thinking and acting like competitors usually fare better.  

Long-time readers will remember that I have written before about career lessons that can be gleaned on the soccer pitch.  It's that time of year again as the new season gets underway... 

Soccer is a fiercely competitive sport where success relies on an interesting mix of team work and individual contribution and therefore makes for some interesting workplace analogies.  Last weekend I watched my daughter's soccer team suffer an agonizing defeat as a 3-0 routing turned into a 5-0 utter humiliation when the defense collapsed and performed not one, but two "own goals."  To say the girls were discouraged doesn't begin to describe the situation. 

As DH and I were talking about it later that evening, he made the interesting observation that some people "own goal" in their careers.  They may be losing the competition based on being in the wrong job for their particular skills, or not having a supportive boss; but they seal their fate by "own goal" behaviors such as:

• Arriving late and leaving early
• Wearing headphones and humming/singing along in a close-cube environment
• Talking badly/gossiping about their boss and/or co-workers
• Not returning e-mails and voice mails within 1 business day
• Surfing the Internet at work
• Pointing out problems without suggesting solutions
• Telling off-color jokes
• Routinely missing the mark on business casual (very important as summer approaches)

Obviously, I could go on and on. The point is, these are all behaviors that are in complete control of each individual employee.  You may not have much influence if you are an entry level employee and your boss incorrectly identifies business goals and metrics, and you get caught up in a departmental disaster.  But you are on your own if you wear low cut tank tops to work, or bad mouth your peers. 

My daughter's team was going to lose the game - that became obvious within 15 minutes as the opponents demonstrated that they were better prepared, more skilled, and more aggressive.  Losing the game wasn't what discouraged them.  It was the "own goals" that damaged their morale.  Believe me, they will be working hard this week to figure out what happened and make sure they don't make those errors again.

How about you?  Are you recovering from a layoff?  Did you get out-maneuvered and lose your job?  Don't feel badly - it happens to everyone.  But if there were any "own goals" that contributed to your demise make sure you figure out what you could have done better or differently so it doesn't happen again. 

How do you find out if you are committing some "own goals"?  Find a qualified mentor or coach who is familiar with your work and can give you an objective, fair perspective (note - NOT your spouse or a friend - it must be someone successful at your work place that you can trust to be  brutally honest with you).  In an ideal world, we would all be checking out our capacity to "own goal" long before we get caught up in a job loss and modifying our behaviors accordingly...but at work, like in sports, it's never too late to learn.

 

  

Great Information

Talented Apps is a great multi-author blog with lots of information about the workplace, career development, and progressive HR.  Some recent excellent posts include:

On Belay- How to get your bearings in a new position, job, or just a new assignment.  The author discusses how critical it is to actively build a network of support vs. just assuming it will happen.

Alignment is not the goal, it's a tactic- Love this one!  I frequently hear about alignment, alignment, alignment from staff who aren't exactly stars in their roles.  After awhile, it starts to sound like complaining and blame-shifting.  Instead of avoiding these folks (as I am occasionally inclined to do), I'm going to try a new tactic and try to help them see alignment as a tactic to get them to their assigned business goals.

Take some time to surf around Talent Apps- I'm sure you'll find a lot more great stuff!

Real Work

Earlier today I was contemplating writing a post about 3 keys to a satisfying career:

1. Identify your talents.

2. Develop your talents.

3. Figure out what the world needs and how to use your talents to make a contribution.

Notice that none of these keys have to do with following your bliss or having passion for your work.  That's because bliss and passion are personal and I believe that the world does not owe us a living for pleasing ourselves.

But before I could get too far down the path of crafting this posting, Ann Bares sent me a great link to this video about Real Work over at the Punk Rock HR Blog.

I LOVE this video.  It's about 20 minutes long and completely worth it.  Mike Rowe talks about how that America has devalued much of the labor that keeps this country going and in so doing disrespects a huge portion of our workforce.  More importantly, he explains the potentially devastating long-term results of this social shift in how work is perceived and encourages us to get back to our roots and not to fear "real work."  He delivers a great message succinctly and with humor.  Check it out here.

A little bit about leadership...

It's no secret that the economy is faltering, and it is unclear what we can expect from the future.  When our work is disrupted - whether through a layoff, or through increased pressure because our co-workers have been laid off - it's not uncommon to start evaluating what the Management team is doing. 

You may be questioning what your boss or boss' boss is doing.  If you lead a team, you can bet they are scrutinizing and questioning your actions.  A few weeks ago I attended an interesting seminar on "Leading in Tough Times" where a panel of well-known local leaders talked about how they have approached leadership during tough times when the employees were questioning their every move. 

The 7 speakers covered far more territory than I can cover in a short blog posting, but two points really stuck with me.  Whether you actually lead a team or you are just looking to be seen as a leader among your peers at work, these points may be useful to you:

1. "Good intentions not backed by behavior are a problem." - You may be hoping your company weathers this storm well.  You may want to be part of the solution and not part of the problem.  But unless you can translate those intentions into tangible actions that loudly and clearly communicate that you are working to move things forward, don't expect people to know what you are thinking.  This is not the time for ambiguity, for shrinking back, or for standing on the sidelines.  Communicate verbally that you want to help, and back it up with your actions.  If you aren't sure if what you are doing is helpful, don't just make stuff up in your head, figure out who is smart and knowledgeable and ask them for guidance: "Will this help?"  "What else can we do here?" 

2. "The most effective leadership style is the one the organization needs now." - Sometimes organizations need people leaders - those who have an intuitive sense of how others are feeling,  and can empathize and encourage.   Sometimes organizations need visionary leaders - those who can envision a productive new future on the other side of the chaos and chart a course to get there.  Believe it or not, sometimes organizations even need "bureaucratic leaders" - people who can dig in, understand minute details and process, and navigate a painstaking course through complexity.  If you want to be a good leader at your company, figure out what type of leadership is needed and what you can do to deliver it. 

Organizations are desperate for leaders at all levels and they are not going to appear out of nowhere.  If you are still employed, count your blessings and then go use your situation for good.  If you are laid off and looking for a new job, then put your leadership abilities to work in your family and your community - it will show through in your job search and you will be a standout candidate.

It's Monday morning - let's get after it!

 

 

Coping after a Layoff - Part III

Tony Schwartz has a fantastic posting about Surviving Trauma that complements the recent postings on Coping after Layoffs (Part I and Part II).  Schwartz says:

"It’s no great stretch to suggest that the past six months have been traumatic for millions of Americans. A trauma is a painful emotional experience of shock, usually resulting from an extremely stressful or life-threatening situation. Sound familiar?"

Sounds kind of how you feel after experiencing a layoff, doesn't it?  Schwartz warns that it can be very tempting to go into "survival mode" after experiencing a stressful situation, but that this would be counter-productive to our long-term health and happiness:

"Symptoms of survival mode include an inability to think clearly or creatively, difficulty concentrating, trouble sleeping, irritability and anger – all of which make a bad situation worse. Over time, those symptoms can turn into exhaustion, numbness, depression and hopelessness, which take an even deeper toll."

He offers some 3 keys for dealing with trauma productively:

1. Hold on to the conviction that you have the power to shape your own experience.
2. Take very intentional care of yourself.
3. Immerse yourself in challenging work.

Read more about each of these three keys here.

When you receive conflicting feedback...

[Note - long story about singing and a genuine career lesson at the end!]

When I was in high school there was an elite choral group called "Ensemble" for the most talented of singers.  Each year they rehearsed extensively and put on fantastic shows.  Admittance was by audition only and it was a huge honor to be selected.   Our school also had an excellent choir that put on concerts several times a year.  Enrollment was open to all students who were willing to work hard and learn the required music. 

One of my fellow students - let's call her Hannah - had a beautiful, powerful voice.  She tried out each year for Ensemble and was never selected.  So she joined choir and during concerts her talent was on full display as she carried the melody line.  Once during a concert I whispered to a friend of mine (who was in the Ensemble), "I cannot believe Hannah didn't make Ensemble again - listen to how beautiful her voice is."  I'll never forget my friend's reply.  She said, "Oh, but that's the problem,  you shouldn't be able to hear her voice like that.  Mr. [Music Director] has told her over and over that she needs to tone it down and work on blending in if she wants to make Ensemble."

That was interesting information to me and I tucked it away in my brain to muse on.

I recalled that whispered conversation a few months ago when I was watching a biopic on the inimitable Faith Hill.  They interviewed a high school friend of Faith's from Star, Mississippi (can't recall her name so I'll just call her "Ann").  During the interview, Faith exuded energy.  She has a brilliant smile and uses as powerful a voice when she speaks as she does when she sings.  Ann was a rather mousy looking thing with a wispy brown bob and a soft Southern drawl.  Both women talked about how as girls they dreamed of having careers as singers.  Ann said [paraphrased], "Faith and I used to sing duets together at church and she would sing so LOUD.  I told her she should sing more softly and try to blend and she just told me I would have to catch up if I wanted to sing with her."  Eventually Faith began singing solos because no one could hold their own with her.  Frankly Ann seemed a little baffled that things had turned out the way they did.  Faith just laughed and said, "If you want to be a singer, you have to not be afraid to really SING!"

So when I saw this, I had a random neuron firing and thought back to Hannah in high school and how she was advised to blend in, and ended up losing out on singing opportunities when she couldn't conform.  On the other hand, Faith Hill ignored the advice to tone it down and was able to take her loud powerful voice straight to the top of the charts, and now she's advising other would-be stars to do the same.  So what's a singer to do?  Obviously, it matters who the feedback is coming from.  It a local high school music teacher who has never been out of your small town tells you to town it down, and mega-star Faith Hill tells you to crank it up, the choice of who to listen to is pretty easy. 

But of course real life is more nuanced than that.  Sometimes in the workplace we get conflicting feedback and there is no obvious path to go.  One colleague can praise us for our ability to manage details to the nth degree, and another colleague might accuse us of being too picky and suggest that we focus on the big picture more.  What should you do in these situations?  It depends on how high you want to go in the workplace. 

Recently I was at a Board meeting for a client company.  The Board Chair - an incredibly smart successful woman that I admire - was reviewing some of the feedback the President of the organization had received on his annual 360 review.  A question came up about some pieces of the feedback that seemed contradictory.   Her response was swift and succinct: "Part of being an executive is learning to take conflicting or ambiguous feedback and making something good out of it.  What helps you work well with one person might drive another person batty so you are going to hear different things about your style.  Executives can live with that and make it work."

Wow.  What great advice for anyone looking to advance - whether in singing or in the workforce.  If you want to stay at the coordinator, or perhaps the Supervisor level, then just keep on insisting that people be very clear with their feedback and tell you exactly what it is they expect.  If you aspire to Manager level and especially to Director and Executive level, then learn to handle nuanced feedback and put it to productive use.  If you are ready to move up, you'll understand what I just said.  

How to Develop a Career as a Writer (or anything else you want to be)

Almostgotit has a great guest post by Emily Anderson on how to break into a career in writing.  The two rules she suggests will definitely benefit anyone who wants to be a writer:

1.  Don't be so arrogant as to think you have all the good ideas.

2.  If you're not writing for pay, you're not likely to get paid for writing.

Brilliant!  These are two very good rules that can be applied to any career goal.  Whatever it is you want to do, assume that lots of other people have good ideas for how you can go about it.  Seek them out.  Learn from them.  Collaborate with them.  Then find a way to tailor what it is you want to do for people who need to have it done and will pay for it. 

For example, I have a friend who really likes to do career development work and wanted to do it in the corporate world.  What she found was that many companies don't hire in-house career advisers for their employees.  As she continued talking to people to investigate her interest in career development, she found a position in a financial services company called an "Adviser Coach" that was a great fit.  Her job is to work with financial advisers in the field who are building their practice. She is an expert on all the internal resources for building a practice - marketing tools, training tools, etc. She meets regularly with advisers to share these tools, and also incorporates all of her knowledge and enthusiasm for career growth.  She's not working as a "career counselor" per se, but as a result of her willingness to combine her interests and skills with the marketplace need, she is now one of the highest rated Adviser Coaches in her company and she is making a great salary doing something she truly enjoys.

Have you done this in your career?  Post a note and let us know!

Advice For Young Women

Over the past 2 years I have been working on a research project where we are conducting focus groups with mothers who have professional careers.  We have been asking the mothers how they combine a career and a family, what resources they rely on, how the "changing landscape" in America is impacting them, and whether/how they experience flourishing.  It has been such a privilege to hear their stories - I am impressed and inspired every time I listen to a group. 

We conclude each session by asking the women what advice they would give to young women who expect to become working mothers one day.  Recently, one of our participants (we'll call her Alice) offered the two pieces of advice .  Alice is the mother of three children under 5, and a Director of Organizational Change at a Fortune 500 company. He husband is building a business.  He is having success and his income is consistent, but Alice provides the health benefits for the family. 

I was intrigued by how clear and passionate Alice was in offering the following advice (paraphrased):

1. First, no matter what you want or hope your life will be like when you're a mom, plan on having to work.  It's just unrealistic to think "Oh, I'm going to marry a man who can make enough for the whole family I'll stay home with kids."  You can end up in a great marriage to a great guy, and still have to go to work to pay the bills.  That's just the reality for most of us.  So plan on having to work, and build your career accordingly when you are young.

2. Second, get a career with a name.  This is just my perspective maybe, but it seems to me that if you ever want to be able to scale back to part-time it's just easier if you have a career with a name on it.  I am a Director of Organizational Change - what does that mean?  How can I do it part time?  My dentist just went down to part-time and she's so happy.  It just seems that it's easier for her because everyone knows what a dentist does, so it's easier to plan on how she can help her practice by doing it part-time.

Alice's advice made perfect sense to me.  I always planned on being a stay-home mom, and it just didn't work out for us.  So I feel I have scrambled more in my career that I would have if I had planned all along to be a working mom.  Also, as an independent HR consultant, I have been very blessed with part-time work that has allowed me to schedule around my family priorities and school commitments.  But I must admit that I do feel a wee bit of stress at times when people ask me what I do.  It feels a little ambiguous because I do what my clients need to have done, and I cannot always predict what that will be.  I've often thought that it would be nice to have a clear name for what I do that was immediately understandable to others - something like a "dentist" maybe?

What do you think of Alice's advice?

Giving and Receiving Feedback - Part II

Part I of this posting discussed 3 ways to receive feedback.  As you grow in your career due to all that great feedback that you are able to receive so gracefully, you'll likely have the opportunity to give feedback to others as well.  Here are some ideas to consider:

Here's how to give feedback as a gift and profit from it:

1 - Always start with what's working. Your main job, whether you're giving feedback to your kids, the guy who's painting your living room or somebody who works for you, is to motivate them. People can't hear your suggestion for how to improve if they don't think you already appreciate the good stuff they're doing.

2 - State clearly what's not working. Once you've positively reinforced the person, explain in detail the area you'd like to see improved. Be sure to give them the impression that you're confident that they can make the changes you're recommending.

3 - Determine what's missing that can be supplied. If a different approach to the project, the client or even the homework is needed, brainstorm how you can put your heads together to make that happen. Come up with a solution you can be enthusiastic about. Commit to providing all the support you can.

Here's the bottom line: Feedback is a gift. Treat it that way. When you're getting it, remember that you don't have to be perfect. You do have to be willing to change. When you're giving it, remember to be a motivator and a coach, not a disciplinarian or a critic. You'll be amazed at the results you produce.