What is it about Sarah?

What is it about Sarah Palin that generates such rancor from other women?  I cannot count the number of columns, blog postings, and comments that have suggested that she is either a) unqualified, or b) needs to get home with her family, or the latest, c) she looks too good in her fancy new clothes.

I submit to you that the rancor has far less to do with her experience and policies (because let's face it, few of us really understand public policy to the degree that our posturing and blustering around the water cooler would suggest), and it has far more to do with the fact that she's not listening to the critics, she's not backing down, and she looks like she is having a good time on this journey. 

For some reason, many women don't seem to like seeing other women look happy.  Too many feminists draw far too much of their inspiration from women who are angry, combative, and blaming.  They are less likely to draw inspiration from women who simply chart their own course and live it well.

For the past two years I have been privileged to be part of a national research project where we are interviewing working mothers about their notions of "flourishing" and how they are able to do that in the context of their busy lives.  I say "privileged" because I have been so inspired hearing the stories of these women - how they seek out avenues to grow and use their talents, and how their families are better off even if the logistics of being a working mom can be daunting. 

One of the recurrent themes that intrigues me is the number of participants who say part of how they are able to flourish in their lives is because they rarely listen to advice.  One woman said, "People will tell you what to do.  Don't listen to them.  I will even tell you what to do. Don't listen to me.  You have to figure out what works for you."  As a result of this "no time for guilt" approach, these women are running departments, running companies, leading civic organizations, and raising their families, and - by their own definitions - flourishing. 

One woman told me, "If start getting stressed about the different messages I hear about what I should be or what I should do, I just tell myself, "Okay - there maybe some truth there that you need to pay attention to, and once you go workout, then you can take 30 minutes to think it through and decide what to do about it.'"  The result of this approach is that she looks and feels fabulous, and she doesn't spend a lot of time second guessing her own decisions.  She is happy and it shows.

These interviews have made me realize that I personally have wasted far too much time apologizing and cringing for my choices, instead of reveling in my modest successes and seeking to grow my talents and contribute even more.  And, to my shame, these interviews have also made me realize how quick I am to judge other women simply because they dared to set big goals and go for them, and they looked  happy with the results.  For some inexplicable (and frankly, lame) reason, I take their accomplishments as a personal judgment on me and get irritated.  The worst part of this counterproductive behavior?  It sets a wretched example for my 12-year old daughter when I constantly battle myself or other women about our choices instead of reveling in them - it doesn't give her permission to live her life and go for her dreams regardless of the naysayers.

Like her or not, Sarah Palin's behavior is very permission-giving for working moms.  We can choose to let that either inspire us or scare us.  Regardless, I have a feeling that whatever the outcome of this election is, Sarah Palin will not be overly concerned with how women judge her personal choices.  She will simply continue on through life with an attitude of not backing down from challenges, and enjoying herself along the way.  My commitment for the upcoming year is to do more of the same!

Comments

[Lonely Dissertator]

What you are describing is an entrepreneurial leadership trait, found in men and women. This is one of the things we look for when we assess for lead church-planters. This is what I would need to find within myself when I am ready to get active with God's mission for my life. The process of "getting there" is important. It's not just a trait, I believe one can learn it, up to a certain extent. For believers, a clear sense of Calling matters most. I like what you are doing, examining this issue at the nexus of home/work life for women.

[MidwesternFox]

I don't know, charging women for their own rape kits isn't some incredibly complex public policy that most people can't understand. I could be wrong.

"Like her or not, Sarah Palin's behavior is very permission-giving for working moms." Are you kidding me!? Seriously?

http://advocatesforpregnantwomen.org/blog/2008/09/napw_open_letter_to_governor_p.php

I mean, what would Sarah Palin need to do for you to not sweep it all under this rug of "oh, people are just jealous of a strong woman"? Shoot a woman in the head on live tv?

[Ask a Manager]

It's because she's a humiliation to those of us who want to succeed on our merits. I actually just wrote about this here:
http://askamanager.blogspot.com/2008/10/on-balls-and-lack-thereof.html

[Gingerale]

Is it just me or is the font on this web page very small?

[The Career Encourager]

Thank you for reading and commenting - for my little blog, 4 comments just may be a record!

JB - I like how you link the concepts of "calling" and "flourishing." When do I get to find out what you've decided on for your final reserach question for your diss?

MidwesternFox - I checked out the link you sent. Do you work for/with them? If so, you are very likely in a position to know more about the machinations of public policy than the water-cooler pontificators I mentioned in the posting. Maybe you would like to take some time to educate me and my readers on your perspective? Your current comment as it stands effectively shuts down, rather than opening the dialogue that is so critically needed.

AAM - I am always honored when you read and comment. I respectfully disagree with you that Sarah Palin's actions are an offense. To paraphrase Eleanor Roosevelt, no one can make us feel offended without our permission. Many years ago, the pundits routinely pointed out how one of Bill Clinton's strengths was how he charmed women. I was offended to think that my vote could be swayed by someone charming me. My bad for wasting time and energy being offended. Yes, Sarah Palin winks, and yes it's bothersome. All of us can easily list plenty of other examples of the various candidates engaging in annoying mannerisms (where else does the fodder for SNL come from?) But I'm purposely not going to list them out because that's not the nexus (to borrow JB's word) of my posting. My point is simply that for some reason many women seem to find it necessary to put down a woman who seems strong, confident and happy. There is something about a woman like that that touches a nerve in us. I am very curious to understand what it is at work there, and - personally speaking - I want to grow beyond it.

Gingerale - The font IS small. I will see if I can fix that!

[Marcia Robinson - BullsEyeU]

What I think many women might be concerned about regarding the Palin selection is why her? Why not some of the other women who at first glance and again at later glance would appear more qualified. Why not a Kay Bailey Hutchinson, a Libby Dole, a Carly Fiorino or a Meg Whitman? It might be saying to me or my 16 year old daughter that try as you might, your future will still depend on someone from the good ole boy's network who selects you as "the one".

I also got the feeling immediately after selection that Palin was there as a "token". In other words all women had been summed up in her.

I was concerned that during the wall street meltdown when Mr. McCain was in DC, the people around him were still his "homies". It made me wonder if Palin does get to the White House, if she would be sent off to a corner room with her knitting. Would she be taken seriously, even by her boss?

I hope that if that situation were to arise, she would be the first to stand up and say - "oh no you didn't!" I hope she knows her power.

[mommymakingmoney lei]

I think the basic problem is that these commentators believe that Palin is so unremarkable, so ordinary, so unaccomplished that her elevation to a national ticket can only be attributed to John McCain’s cynical political calculations. Palin, they believe, is so vastly unqualified for the vice presidency that her mere presence on the campaign trail is an offense.

[erotik shop]

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[HERBALİFE]

I think the basic problem is that these commentators believe that Palin is so unremarkable, so ordinary, so unaccomplished that her elevation to a national ticket can only be attributed to John McCain’s cynical political calculations. Palin, they believe, is so vastly unqualified for the vice presidency that her mere presence on the campaign trail is an offense

[herbalife izmir]

What I think many women might be concerned about regarding the Palin selection is why her? Why not some of the other women who at first glance and again at later glance would appear more qualified. Why not a Kay Bailey Hutchinson, a Libby Dole, a Carly Fiorino or a Meg Whitman? It might be saying to me or my 16 year old daughter that try as you might, your future will still depend on someone from the good ole boy's network who selects you as "the one".

I also got the feeling immediately after selection that Palin was there as a "token". In other words all women had been summed up in her.

I was concerned that during the wall street meltdown when Mr. McCain was in DC, the people around him were still his "homies". It made me wonder if Palin does get to the White House, if she would be sent off to a corner room with her knitting. Would she be taken seriously, even by her boss?

I hope that if that situation were to arise, she would be the first to stand up and say - "oh no you didn't!" I hope she knows her power.

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[herbalife ürünleri]

I think the basic problem is that these commentators believe that Palin is so unremarkable, so ordinary, so unaccomplished that her elevation to a national ticket can only be attributed to John McCain’s cynical political calculations. Palin, they believe, is so vastly unqualified for the vice presidency that her mere presence on the campaign trail is an offense.

[herbalife]

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[herbalife fiyat listesi]

think the basic problem is that these commentators believe that Palin is so unremarkable, so ordinary, so unaccomplished that her elevation to a national ticket can only be attributed to John McCain’s cynical political calculations. Palin, they believe, is so vastly unqualified for the vice presidency that her mere presence on the campaign trail is an offense.

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