Have you ever gone to an HR Rep at your company with a problem and had them refer you to an EAP? If you're like most employees, you found this frustrating - perhaps it even felt like a brush-off or as if your company didn't care. This is a very common reaction for employees who don't understand what an Employee Assistance Program is.
Employee Assistance Programs are designed to help people with personal problems that might adversely affect their work performance. The first contact with an EAP is typically a phone counselor who will help you define what the problem is and identify some resources that will help you. Those resources may include state or community organizations that can help you, or referrals to medical and/or mental health providers. While the EAP counselor will spend time on the phone listening to you, s/he typically won't engage in a long-term counseling relationship with you, but will help you connect with someone locally who can fill that role.
My experience has been that many employees resist being referred to an EAP program for three reasons:
- They can't see how a stranger on the phone can possibly help them with their problems
- They feel that their company doesn't care about them
- They were just looking for someone to vent to, not to actually dig in and solve the problem!
Let's take a look at each of these reactions:
#1 - They can't see how a stranger on the phone can possibly help with their problems. EAP counselors go through extensive training to learn how to connect with and assess employee needs for support via telephone communication. Typically the counselor will ask very thoughtful questions to help you articulate your situation. They are trained in problem-solving and human development strategies and can coach you on some basic steps for defining the problem and identifying and ranking solutions. They are trained on your company and the benefits available at your company so they have an idea of the resources that may be readily available to you and they also have extensive databases of information about what may be available to you in your community. Most of all, they are a confidential, listening ear, that can help you come to grips with the situation that is troubling you without having to feel like you are exposing yourself unnecessarily to co-workers. EAP's can help with a variety or problems that you might not even think of asking for help on. For example, I once knew a woman whose refrigerator conked out on her right before the holidays when she was in the middle of a big project at work. On a whim she called the EAP counselor, explained the stress she was having, and told her the cost and feature requirements she had for a new refrigerator. The EAP counselor actually did comparison research for her, and faxed over the data. The employee selected the refrigerator she wanted, and the EAP counselor arranged for the delivery time. Talk about relieving employee stress!
#2 - They feel that their company doesn't care about them. To the contrary, the fact that a company has an EAP is a very tangible sign of caring. An EAP is not a cheap benefit for a company to provide and making it available is a signal that your employer knows that you have a very full life and sometimes things can go wrong. While HR folks can help you with issues related to the structure and processes in your workplace, they cannot help you with intra-personal psychological issues, or issues with relationships you have outside of the workplace. The fact is that HR professionals are not trained counselors. Professional counseling is a highly regulated discipline with a defined set of protocols and skills that are required. Believe me, you don't want someone who hasn't had this training trying to fill in as a counselor for you. The HR Profession respects the counseling profession, and that's why we respect those boundaries and provide EAP's for employees.
#3 - They're just looking for someone to vent to and don't want to actually dig in and solve the problem. In my experience, this is the employee who resists the EAP the most. Which is probably a good thing, because they don't really want to solve the problem, and EAP won't be able to help them either. When I am confronted with an employee with this attitude, I try to disentangle myself as quickly as possible. HR or a Manager should never have to be the "dumping ground" for someone who is having a bad day. That's not to say that we don't all need a caring ear once in awhile, but if that's the case for you, I suggest you save it for your friends and family. I once had a young man - a Sales Rep - who would come into my office several times a week to vent about problems with co-workers, stress over his weight, and problems with his family. When I explained to him that I did not have the time to keep listening to this chaos he said, "Well I am a verbal processor and I am the type of person who needs to think thinks through out loud." I asked him how his need to verbal process meant that I had a responsibility to be his dumping ground. He had no answer. I also explained how HR Reps aren't trained to be counselors, but I don't think he heard any of that. He was just mad that I didn't want to listen to him complain anymore. He was rather distant with me for awhile. Then, several months later he came to see me. He said he'd done a lot of thinking and he'd realized it was immature of him to think that just because he was angry and felt the need to get it out of his system that it was the responsibility of me - or anyone else - to listen to him. He felt like a more mature, competent person as a result and he wanted to thank me for being honest and firm with him. Wow! That was an unexpected reward of simply doing my job as an HR Rep.
So here's the point - if you go to your HR Rep with a problem, and s/he refers you to the EAP, don't get miffed. Instead, ask yourself:
- Do I really want to solve this problem or am I just venting and expecting my co-workers to put up with my emotional outbursts?
- What can it hurt to talk to someone who is trained to help people deal with stressful situations?
Remember, we (in HR) are not blowing you off if we suggest you talk to an EAP. The worst thing we could do is to pretend to be capable of counseling you when we don't have the training or licenses to do that. It actually demonstrates a lot more true concern to say, "You know I want to help you with your problem but I am not trained or qualified and I am going to help you get connected with someone who can help you."
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