The Career Encouragement Blog

Friendship Skills at Work

Business guru David Maister has a great posting on friendship skills at work.  I know I really needed to hear what he had to say this week.  What a great workforce we could be together if we all practiced what he preaches.  Here's a brief teaser to motivate you to check out the entire posting. 

It’s worth pausing and asking yourself right now: do people think I am considerate, supportive, understanding and thoughtful? Do my friends and acquaintances? Do those I work with? Do those I manage? Do those I serve? If the answer to any of these questions is “no,” then it’s worth asking yourself, “Why not? What’s the problem?”

The answer is likely to be some variant of the fat smoker syndrome. You know what’s good for you, but it takes attention to a lot of detail today to get the reputation that’s going to benefit you in the future.

A reputation for being supportive, for instance, must be earned through social habits. And to be seen as considerate, you have to be able to remember information that people share about their lives, proving that you listened and paid attention. ...To be viewed by other people as supportive also takes thought and careful attention to language. ...Having the ability to respond with the right phrase in real time takes practice, as do all social skills.

As individuals, or as organizations, it is possible to set out to develop friendship skills. However, like all aspects of the fat smoker syndrome, it requires a concerted effort to invest today in building skills (and relationships) that will pay off tomorrow. Unless they are already naturals, relatively few individuals - and even fewer organizations - have the self-discipline to stick with the program. That’s why it’s a successful strategy for those who do.

What can you do to make your workplace a more friendly place starting today?

What's your timeline for building a career and a family?

Careerbuilder recently posted this article on Job Goals for Every Age.  The suggested progression of goals throughout the decades of a lifetime is somewhat traditional.  This isn't necessarily a bad thing - tradition becomes tradition for a reason, right?  The notion of starting off by building a positive work record, and then moving to establish yourself as a leader seems to make sense.  But the idea that mid-life crisis hits at 40 seems a bit outdated.  I am neither a boomer or a Gen-Xr - I'm smack in the middle and claim neither as my posse.  And it seems to me that those in "my generation" experienced a "mid-life" crisis in our early 30's when we were having our children and trying to figure out the work-life game. 

Phyllis Moen and Patricia Roehling do a great job of exposing why the traditional career path just doesn't make sense for many of us in The Career Mystique: Cracks in the American Dream.  The authors deftly articulate how the convergence of family growth and career growth during our 30-something years is at odds with social structure in the United States.  I've read a lot on this topic, and their exposition of how converging trends in history bring us to the state we are in today is one of the best I've read.  They note that:

"What is key is that both the breadwinner/homemaker gender divide (of paid work and unpaid family care work) and the life course as a three-part sequential age divide (education, employment, and retirement) are social inventions, products of industrialization, urbanization, suburbanization, and bureaucratization.  They have become a taken-for-granted part of the landscape of American culture, shaping the institutions that sustain the American way of life."

From an individual perspective, it is easy to feel guilty or frustrated when it seems like it's impossible to fit work and family neatly into one lifetime.  This book does a great job of normalizing those frustrations.  Who wouldn't feel stressed trying to orchestrate a two-worker household in a society that is set up on the assumption that someone is always home (think school schedules, service providers, doctors office hours, etc.)? The artificial gender and age divides super-imposed on our society affect our reactions without us being aware of it most of the time.

The authors aren't able to offer solutions to the work-family conundrum at an individual level.  Those are nuanced, complex decisions that families have to make together.  But they do provide a perspective on the broader context in which we are living our lives that is useful for helping us frame our daily challenges.   It's also a perspective that helps us be more careful when reading career advice and to take articles like the one from Careerbuilder with the proverbial "grain of salt."

Fun Quote about Work Ethic for the Middle of the Week!

In many, many of my previous postings (too many to attempt to link back to), I have expressed a personal opinion that it is not that difficult to stand out as a competent credible worker ready for promotion if you will invest the effort to execute well on the basics.  This quote sums up that philosophy neatly: 

"If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind."   

~ Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Job Search Rule #21 - Use Good Telephone Skills - Part II

The previous posting on telephone skills listed 3 do's and don'ts.  Here are a few more points about using the phone that I've collected over my years of talking to candidates on the phone:

#4 - Don't answer the phone if you can't talk.  If you are looking for a job and have sent out your resume and left phone messages, it's highly possible that someone will call you back.  When they do, you want to sound confident and professional.  I have called candidates before and when I told them who I was they began whispering, "I really can't talk to you right now - I am at work."  This leaves me wondering, "Why did you answer the phone if you can't talk right now?" and "Who would you have forsaken your work to talk to?"  Either way, I am not interested in playing covert espionage games, so I move on.

#5 - Don't give out a phone number unless you want people to call you on it.  This is similar to #4.  If you put a phone number on your cover letter or resume, make sure it is a number that is okay for people to use to reach you.  I once had this conversation with a candidate:

Me:  Hello.  I'm calling from ABC company.  I received your resume for the Coordinator job and wanted to ask you a few questions.

Candidate (sounding panicked):  Please don't call me at this number - I can't talk here!

Me:  This is the number on your resume.

Candidate (sounded irritated):  Well it's the only one I had to put down at the time.

Me:  I apologize for the inconvenience.

I don't know if the phone number on the resume was a work number or a family member's phone.  And frankly I don't care.  When the candidate called me back, I let her know we had "moved forward with other candidates whose skills and experiences more closely matched our requirements."  Meaning, of course, that we had a minimum expectations that job candidates know how to communicate accurate information (i.e., give the right phone number) and behave professionally on the telephone (not rudely and illogically).

#6 - Give succinct, targeted answers and check for understanding.  This is a hard one, especially on the phone.  Because you cannot see the caller's facial expressions and body language it can be difficult to know how they are responding to what you are saying.  The temptation is often to keep talking.  However, it's important to remember that just as you cannot see the face of the recruiter or hiring manager who called you, she also cannot see your face.  Very likely she is taking a few notes to help distinguish you from other candidates, and she is probably looking for a few key phrases in your answers vs. lengthy explanations.  So when you get asked a question, first pause for a split second.  The pause serves two purposes.  First, it ensures that the interviewer is done talking and you don't accidentally overtalk her.  Secondly, it gives you a split second to collect yourself and organize your response.  Then briefly answer the question as it is asked.  It's perfectly okay at the end of you answer to check-in by asking, "Does that answer your question?"  Pausing and checking-in are basic business skills in today's world of global conference calls.  Employing these skills during a phone interview shows good professional savvy.

I cannot emphasize enough the importance of having good phone skills.  In this age of text messaged acronyms and e-mailed bullet points, it's easy to forget that a telephone call is about building rapport as much as it is about delivering information.  So few people actually use good phone skills that it is a great way to stand out from the other candidates and start building a good relationship with the hiring company right from the start.  Look for more on this topic in the future!

Carnival of HR

Evil HR Lady has posted the latest Carnival of HR. There's lots of good stuff to read.  Some of my faves:

• Rowan Manahan has good ideas on how to Take Charge of Your Job Hunt
• Wally suggests you Manage Your Own Career

Enjoy!

Some of Bob's Favorite Quotes

If you  enjoy Management Quotes by Bob you may enjoy this list he shared with me of some of his favorite quotes by Samuel Goldwyn.  My favorite is #6.  Stay tuned for more of Bob's pithy sayings in the future...

1. I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.
2. I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs.
3. I had a monumental idea this morning, but I didn't like it.
4. I read part of it all the way through.
5. Let's have some new cliches.
6. Spare no expense to save money on this one.
7. When someone does something good, applaud! You will make two people happy.
8. You've got to take the bitter with the sour.
9. A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Be High Value and Hard to Replace

Mike Pegg of the The Strengths Way has some great advice for how you can be high value and hard to replace for your employer.  Good stuff - I am adding him to my blog roll.

Be High Value and Hard to Replace

Mike Pegg of the The Strengths Way has some great advice for how you can be high value and hard to replace for your employer.  Good stuff - I am adding him to my blog roll.

Job Search Rule #21 - Use Good Telephone Skills - Part I

If you are looking for a new job and your resume has cleared the initial screen, it's likely that your next step will involve a telephone conversation of one kind or another, so it pays to be exceptionally skilled at telephone basics. 

Following are some telephone do's and don'ts if you are looking for a job:

#1 - Do answer your phone professionally.  If you have sent out your resume to employers and don't have a caller ID system that you can be perfectly sure of, then answer your phone with a professional greeting such as, "Hello, this is Margie."  Most recruiters and hiring managers are sitting at a desk in a professional environment.  If they call you and you answer the phone with "Talk to me!" or "Yeeellooow!" (my personal pet peeve) it can be a bit of a jarring disconnect with the role they are looking to fill. 

I am currently seeking candidates for a job that pays in the $50K range - it is a good position that a lot of people would love to have and I would say that at least 30% of the candidates I called blew the phone interview due to an unprofessional greeting.   One of my friends was shocked when he heard this - he told me, "You can't ding out a candidate in the first 20 seconds."  I said, "Yes, I can."  Why?  Because I have about 10 more folks to call and experience tells me that about 3 of them are going to be great on the phone and at least one of them will be great in person and will get the job.  I am sorry for the person who loses out in 20 seconds, but getting a job is a bit of a competition after all.

#2 - Do have a professional system for taking messages if you can't answer the phone.  If you have sent out your resume for jobs, have a professional message system at any contact numbers you have given employers.   I personally find the barking dog bit kind of funny, but having young children giving a garbled greeting on voice mail, or worse, having a trick voice mail such as "Hello?............You've reached my voice mail...etc."  are definite no-nos.  Remember, a recruiter or hiring manager is likely contacting several people and will quickly move on to the one who seems most competent and capable.

Another message system no-no is having young children answer the phone. I know, I know, I sound like I don't like kids.  Not at all - I love children, and I enjoy talking to them on the phone. But not when I am at work, and definitely NOT when I have 15 calls to make.  It's annoying to be told by a child to "call back later" when I could have simply left a quick voice mail.  Here's a secret - sometimes I don't bother to call back.

And finally on these lines, if you have a spouse or partner at home you'll want to be careful how they answer the phone.  I don't know if it's because I am a woman and my dulcet voice generates suspicion, but I have called candidates before only to be quizzed by neurotic wives about "Who are you? Why are you calling him?  What company?  What job?"  I tend to move on quickly. 

#3 - Don't re-dial numbers without listening to the message first.  The other day I left a detailed message for a candidate explaining who I was, that I received his resume, and offering 2 different times to schedule a phone call.  A few minutes later I got a call.  When I answered he breathlessly blurted out, "I got a call from this number..."  I asked if he heard my message and he said, "No - I just called back.  Can you repeat it?"  I did, but I was unimpressed with his phone skills.  Why?  Because I have a pile of resumes and a lot of work on my plate and he just put me in the position of having to repeat some of that work.  Not the worst thing in the world, but certainly not the way I want to start a relationship with him.  Oh - and what if we employ him and then he pulls that stunt with clients?  I just can't take that chance.

I could go on and on...and I will in Part II of this posting at a later date!

 

Why Interviewers Want You to Succeed

I have mentioned in the past that the people who interview you for jobs want you to succeed!  Recruiters, HR Reps and Hiring Managers really want you to do well in the interview.  Why?  At least 4 reasons:

1. Most companies don't post a position unless they have a need - either the workload is too much for current staff and they need help, or someone has vacated a position.  Either way - work is not getting done and the sooner the job is filled, the sooner the Hiring Manager can get back to the other work of running the department.
2. From a recruiting perspective, I want you to do well in the interview because my reputation rests - in part - on my ability to bring in talent.  If a candidate I bring in bombs, I look bad.
3. Frankly, with all the information out there about how to prepare for and perform in an interview, it just seems like with a little effort it shouldn't be that hard to do a competent job.  It's discouraging to watch candidates for decent, well-paying jobs flounder on basic issues of professional protocol.
4. And finally, interviewing candidates can gets tiresome after awhile - a candidate who is professional and competent makes the interview process much easier on the interviewer and sends a signal that she would be a good colleague to have around!

I tell you all this to encourage you to put the time and energy into preparing for your interviews and walking in with confidence.  For any given opening, there are usually several candidates who can actually do the job. If you are the candidate who is professional, and who is easy and fun to interview, you have a much better chance of landing the gig!